Ticket to the soul

Everyone knows those fun people. The ones who love interacting with others and feel comfort in immediacy with other humans. The ones making friends, living life. They are everyone's favourite and have fun on the go. Roza is not one of them, though her father wishes she was.

Roza prefers silence and seldom joins in a conversation. Buying groceries is a mission, ordering food increases her heartbeat for all the wrong reasons and socializing is as awkward as it can get. Her rescue- a smile to mask her inner turmoil.

 Everyone has fallen for it and thinks she is uptight and means no nonsense. She has successfully build an aura so fake that no one has ever been able to see through it. And revealing her true nature to anyone now scares her. She thinks they will see her not as an independent, indifferent woman that she is, but as an awkward, messed-up pieces of fragile mentality which too is a part of her. They would either not want to be the part of her "other part" and laugh it off or would pity her for having such a sad side.

 She wants none of it. Possible chances of losing her few friends always keeps her on guard. She lives a life that is not all hers. Everyday she wakes up with her true self then buries it for the fear of unknown. She struggles to keep up her facade and hopes that someday it will become her reality. Someday would not be as hard as today.

This hope keeps her running all day but it shatters the moment she becomes comfortable in her bed.

 Nights! Oh the nights so long!


Nights for her is her ticket to the soul. Like a secret lover who embraces her with all her scars, all her flaws but must be hidden because people says its just not the right match. And people can say all they want but she knows better. Her and the nights are the best match because she can let her guard down for once and breathe in her true self. It's like freeing that inner wolf which is trapped for ages and letting it run through the woods, feeling at peace with the nature.

Her father calls her night-owl for not sleeping early and thinks she might be having trouble. But she, like every other night-owl, knows that trouble is the last thing that the nights will ever have for her. This is her time. Her space and her everything that she works hard for everyday.

It is at this moment that she realizes  there is no need of hoping for her facade to become reality. That is not her. This is her. Her reality. But that little fear of the unknown keeps nagging. She can worry about it tomorrow though. For now, she should enjoy her date as long as it lasts.

With that, she pushes her worries to the back of the mind. Not long after, her lover lulls her to a peaceful sleep and kisses her goodnight, wishing she would be as strong and bold and accepting in the day as she is with them.